Fearful, I am!

15 Oct

Its 15th October 2012, 11:05 pm. I am lying down on the couch with laptop in my hand while fingers tapping the keyboard, striving at it’s peak to synchronize the nerve message with the words spilling online. I am fearful, yes I am…. my heart has grown lethal, weak and is sinking, still does not wish for an assisting hand. I don’t want anybody to sympathize with my condition, which is not worst… yet gloomy and just unusual!

Its my medical school aptitude test result night. I can sneak into the possibilities, swinging more towards the negative side. yet HOPE is the word. Amid this nervousness (since by the grace of God, I haven’t faced much of challenges), a news just broke…. a traditional rival friend of mine just got engaged! I am glad for her.. a dilute one. See? the fear of failure, even good news is just not good enough.. nothing is working! no spell, no magic, no prayer, no nothing! I am terrified… my future is questionable! What should I do??


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Addiction, Mental Health, Stigma, Spirituality

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