Archive | December, 2012

The year 2012….

31 Dec

Former is beautiful, but the charm doesn’t cast its’ spell in an abandoned moment. It has to flicker, sink and triggered if the delicacy has to be extracted.

I saw the final sunrise of 2012. Knowing I turned 19, I have two dear ones battling with deadly diseases, knowing that freshness has crumpled and might has reduced, believing that a chapter has faded so I could begin a new story,alive and sensitive to all the happenings of the gone-by year, I welcome 2013!

just a glimpse of 2012

just a glimpse of 2012

Amid the routines, the thoughts of re-joining university tomorrow and the attire which has to be worn at a spiritual gathering today, I find it necessary to take out some time to just reflect back to what tweaks and whirls this going bye year has blessed me with… It has been a short journey, ironic and meaningful.

I ended college, with tears, prayers and gripes of hopes that I will always have strings of my heart attached to it. It was painful, blue and bitter to let go of people and a place where you were awarded with respect and unconditional affection. It was not merely a campus where I studied to grab a good percentage, it was a place where I learned and practiced the key of life; Balance.

I attended CBMUN 2012, I was sent as a delegate of Germany to UNSC and was fortunate enough to get the best delegate award, by a man whose intellect has inspired me to a high extent. It’s hard to imagine the unfettered ecstasy to be honored by a figure, so valuable to you. The confidence, the unknown presence of the hidden something (something I still don’t know off) and the company it bought to me will always remain irreplaceable.

Marking the end of my college examinations, were the travelling opportunities. I love travelling, seeing and experiencing the aroma and sway of diverse scents of air, every single emotion that crosses the road touches me. The anxiety, the sleepless nights, the uncomfortable beds, the clothing dilemma, every single thing…. But I came across a non-neglect-able reality that a true companion can make the worst journeys’ the best.

Following it were the bits and pieces that oriented bags of experience and pleasures towards me. The farewell, the job, reunions, and what not, but the hue was dis balanced when I came across the news of the brutal health issues confronted by my loved ones. It was shattering, indeed.. but we pulled through it somehow, by the grace of Almighty.

Next came the stress and tension of medical university examinations,   probably the worst days of 2012, but I got into KMDC. My desired destination, Now I am doing Bachelors in dental surgery (:

“That is it” – I whisper to myself.

“That isn’t!” – declared the inner voice… ” you forgot to apologize and thank, left behind the two golden rules already?”

“I haven’t…  Thank you, thank you ALLAH, for being my internal strength, for being      the guiding one, the kind one…

and thank you to Mama, Papa and Mayu for chasing me, standing tightly right by me, thank you Marit Otholt (Maggie) my best friend for holding on to me, for being important and unforgettable. Thank you Ms. Anne and Ms, Ambreen, for being close-to-heart teachers. Thank you Firasat Baji for listening to me, Thank you to Zahara for reading and loving my blogs, for praying, for the incredible person she is and finally Thank you to my college and School buddies, Rukhsar, Salima, Sundas, Sara, etc…. you all mean a lot to me!

And A huge sorry for not being the best of anything, I am sorry, deeply for the wounds that deepened or were caused by me. I am sorry if I ever broke a long, looked-after-ed dream, I am sorry if I made anyone cry! I ask for forgiveness……

Good Bye 2012 (:


Hang in there!

7 Dec

Hang in there!

so I have a dream life. It’s soothing, mythical, triumphant and unfettered. a cathartic walk with everything drenched in tints of versatile flavors. There is travelling, reunions, career, family, acquaintances, surprises and the list goes on… but then I bounce back and confront my self, do I have a deviating dream? something which other’s don’t wish for? I am not alone. There is a cascade right by me, wanting all the good stuff.

I feel innocent knowing that I dream angelic. But what I miss is misery, grief, numbness…. happenings and emotions that compelled me to discern what happiness actually is. Would I have ever known the aura of ecstasy?

Gracefully, I then feel like taking misfortune as a blessing. Every time, I feel a tool cracking a situation, I close my eyes to be as indifferent and casual as a rain drop flowing down a rich flora element, The anticipation of loosing what is most desired, to be something unknown….. like an instrumental unaware of it’s lyrical fate.

So just hang in there! You’ll know why your dream is not the ultimate reality, for good. Adore the misery and flow through it like running water, you’ll know the importance of serene stagnant water…


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