Archive | June, 2017

A wreck read.

3 Jun




We know how important it is to communicate.

Schmoozing with people is good fortune. We all have common listeners. Spoken words however, haven’t been the best milieu for me. I don’t possess the best vocabulary and expressions to elucidate what’s meant to be delivered. Moreover, I am terrified by endings. The curt one. The ones that leave you in awe, that allows you to decide what I meant. You know how dreadful an incomplete misunderstood sentence can be? It’s edged arm.

So I decided to dwell on thoughts. Things that had been in serpentine motion and haven’t exactly traced the dots that I managed to join.  A comprehensive narration of everything that occupied my head. I realized a few things, felt useless for lodging on others and felt inane to linger on to a few. Wrecked, the right word. I know it happens with most of us. We break down, we collapse, regret, wish, pray and long for a way out. Some of us speak out and are good at that, a few of us aren’t confident enough to let words help us out.

But then there are things I am sure about. Things that I realize are meant to be said or else, we can scale the destruction. A decision that carves multiple lives, A truth that can blow the dust away. For occasions like that, we unlock our secret strength. A vigor that is blind and careless and powers us to say, it’s my turn.

It’s important to divulge that. I know we’re weak but silence in such situations will cost us more. Gather positivism, power and will to just say it.

And here I go. To all the bad experiences!

I deny to dis-remember you. I don’t think that you particularly deserve my memory, nor do I be-slave myself into believing that you return my sense of vague wistfulness. There is no part of me that wants to return to the limbo I existed in for so long, or even the often-imagined parallel universe in which you reciprocated my feelings to the letter.

I do, however, want to remember what it feels like to be hurt, to want, to need something so desperately only to find out that your life is perfectly fine without it. As much as the little scar on my knee will always remind me to watch out when I am running, yours on my heart will teach me to be kind.


Addiction, Mental Health, Stigma, Spirituality

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